dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
FYI... At my funeral, it will be your job to throw yourself dramatically onto my casket.
you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
So my grandma sent me a doily for my birthday - don't ask why, I don't know. Anyways I put my bong on it, I think it actually classed up the joint.
My mom can no longer prohibit me from smoking pot..I sell to her boyfriend.
She gave me head because I gave her my pack of cigarettes...And you said quitting would be hard.
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
He went THROUGH MY PHONE (he's 30 for God sake) then asked me why I was stringing along 12 guys... I told him he could have just asked me if I was banging other people and then saved himself from looking at pics of dicks bigger than his.
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
PSA. Do not shart while wearing a jock strap at work. That is all.
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
Okay, let's just all take a step back and think about how funny this will seem in like a year... Maybe 2 if his nose is actually broken.
Randomize
