He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
Dude, I was completely sober last night, didn't puke on my shoes, went home with an incredibly beautiful girl, wore a condom, and didn't wake up in a puddle of urine this morning.
hah, sarcasm, classic
OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
if you do not get any action from him tonight, I am personally walking my drunk ass over there grabbing his tongue and sticking it in your mouth. this is getting ridiculous
He drunk dialed T-Mobile at 3am and talked to them for 45 minutes and got his phone bill lowered from $80 to $60... Best drunk dial ever.
So apparently after he gets hammered, falls down a set of stairs and gets a concussion, he can still come home and find a way to play his guitar solo bullshit as loud as possible while i seduce my date...
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
We're shaving superhero symbols into our pubes. I call dibs on Batman.
Captain Morgan does not know self control. Nor does he teach it.
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
Randomize
