Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.
I told him I would sleep with him if he could name all the colors of the wind.
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
Who the hell poured a whole pouch of Capri Sun down my throat last night?
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
First you say "it can't get any worse" and the next thing you know you've shat yourself on Christmas Eve.
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
I woke up with broken tostitos all over my bed and a snap chat of myself flipping off the camera.
i woke up in a bed of pop tarts
He was watching porn and riding a stationary bike in the living room
he was almost the father of your baby, you should let him take you to dinner
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