She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
She wore that goddamn strap-on all night. When she was playing guitar hero it kept getting in the way but she just wouldn't take it off.
I have just disproved the common belief that it is impossible to have mediocre sex in a fire truck.
The fire in my vagina flames on. Fucking terrible firefighter
Hey guy that stepped on my foot, don't slap my ass to apologize.
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
Youre having a picnic
Yeah but all we have is vodka, so it's getting a bit out of hand.
Apparently stoned me thought eating chips in the shower was a good idea.
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
Listen all we did was not even pretend we aren’t each other’s type and live together and constantly encourage each other to get laid for 6 months.
Idk how it devolved into us fucking.
My parents are coming to visit the 28th. How bad is it that I put a reminder in my phone to "hide sex toys"?
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
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