hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
I wish Facebook had filters like: Ivy League school, frat boy, straight, extremely wealthy, great in bed.. I would check all of them
Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
I'm sexting at the thanksgiving dinner table...this is a new holiday tradition.
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
Doing 9 month old dishes in my bath tub. These dishes literally had enough time to gestate a human child
we need to tell them stories about when happens when we're sober so they think they know what they're in for when they're actually completely unprepared for whn happens when we get drunk
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
Randomize
