I feel like sober is me a distant relative that I only see on christmas..
went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
make sure to take notes today. there is a guy in a wheelchair who might be getting a DUI from a cop on horseback. I'm gonna see this through.
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
Why are my keys in the refrigerator?
You said "This is gonna really confuse me tomorrow." Apparently drunk you plays pranks on hungover you.
This explains so much.
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
Just walked past the field playing Jesus music with a fanny pack full of condoms and beer. Happy Sunday.
WINE AND FILM. TALK ABOUT AN UPGRADE FROM NETFLIX AND CHILL.
I fell into the fireplace. That is a pretty good sign to stop drinking fireball
how drunk are you?
Several
Randomize
