Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
Just so you're aware, tomorrow is "Slow Clap when you see Mike" day.
I had ketchup on my elbow and a random girl goes "I got it" and licked it off, only on game day
The kid across the hall found me in the hallway using a hot pocket box as a pillow. I said its okay I live here.
He peed in the bird bath. Those birds are gonna be pissed
I just gate-crahed a party and met a state senator, so I had an interesting afternoon jog.
I haven't included my nuts in a shave since the Shaq/kobe Lakers era. I gave my self the ol full court press in order to change the tempo.
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
Because sadly the idea of me having a girlfriend is crazy enough to be an April fools prank
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
There's a fuckload of syrup all over the floor.
Intelligence report: the hot sister called you gross, the sweet sister says you're dumb, and the smart sister says all the other men she knows would have to die for her to hook up with you.
Randomize
