i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
i keep telling myself in the mirror "get undrunk"
When he came he sounded like a flock of birds hitting puberty
well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
She woke me up, whispered "I like the size of your dick", kissed me, and rolled over and went back to sleep
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
Have you ever noticed that the cities in car commercials look really futuristic?
...did you eat that brownie?
Please don't place wagers on my sex life unless you are giving me a cut. With my current sluttiness I feel like I deserve 40% for how much money you'll make
You're still my best friend even though you continue to pass out on random toilets every time you drink
There was a clear and well defined point last night where I could've decided to go home but no now I've woken up with glitter all over my nuts and potentially an std or 2
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
so i find a box of condoms inside my car with turn by turn directions to her bedroom... kinda freaked out cause she got my address and somehow inside my car
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
Randomize
