it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
He just told me that when we were doing it I told him I was the captain and he was the boat. Im too embarassed to ask for money for a cab.
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
Every time I there's a break up, I'm left with an animal. That's it. No more mutual pets.
I've been laying here all day wondering why my back hurt so bad and then I remembered last night.... When you pushed me through that glass table.
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
I feel like the universe head butted me in my balls. That hungover.
.... My lady balls. Cuz I'm a lady.
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
I just met a stripper in the light of day who I ate a candy bikini off her body. This is how my weekend is going.
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
I'm in the liquor store and fucking "Wannabe" by the Spice Girls is playing. IM ALREADY ASHAMED OF MY REASON FOR BEING HERE, GIVE ME A BREAK.
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
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