PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
Just bought two budlight beers with a can of tuna at the bar
Always fun waking up to 911 as your last dialed call.
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
I woke up with a bloody knee, 6 burn marks on my thigh and glitter nails If anyone asks I'm going to say You came into town
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
I have the best idea for a new business. It's going to be called "Lamb-Scape". We are going to cut lawns using lambs. You just put 5 or 6 on a lawn and they eat the grass #allnatural
YOU SAID YOU WERE OUT OF POT
..........
So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
Hey, thanks for not calling the cops when I answered the door naked, high as fuck, and covered in red velvet cake batter.
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
He waved at a guy who drove by while we were having sex in the back of a rental car in a hospital parking garage prior to visiting family. Almost made me feel guilty but I liked it too much.
Randomize
