turns out the guy i was dating because he was a cop was not actually a cop. i learned this as he got arrested by real cops.
never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
Def just hooked up with my brother's senior prom date in his bed. Does that make me the worst brother ever?
I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.
You're the only person I know who can be puking into a trash can at 8 in the morning in Manhattan and get a date out of it....
Apparently at some point last night someone gave me tequila. There was a few shots left when I woke up so that was breakfast. This is a good birthday
Why did I see a weird snapchat of you barking at McDonald's last night?
I invited him to my hotel room via snapchat. I'm one hell of a classy bitch
We are literally scheduling phone sex... if that's not long distance af then i don't know what is
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
I can't really text bc it's too expensive but I thought youd like to know I just shit myself in a gift shop.
Drunk. Come get me. Out front blue shirt.
Where are you? And you borrowed my shirt. I know what you're wearing. How wasted are you?
Hotel
WHICH HOTEL??
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
Randomize
