after he passed out we removed everything electronic from his room, stuck in some old books and an ancient typewriter from goodwill. for 20 min. we had him convinced he'd drunk himself backward in time.
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
How are you going to pay for strippers in Vegas when you were just begging for McDoubles?
Tonight I think I'm going to go out with a french braid so I don't wake up with puke hair. Thoughts?
And your mom thought you weren't even thinking about your future... she would be proud
sometimes i wish i was a boob, they get to chill in soft and cuddly little cup things.
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
booty call birthday vouchers, best idea ever. it's like giving a present to myself for someone else's birthday.
Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
I've had balls on my face twice in last 48 hours and I STILL haven't got laid!
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
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