the condom got lost in my hair
the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
Mother nature decided I wasn't going to be a whore today. Fuck her.
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
I keep finding coffee grounds in my vagina
I'm considering telling her about my dream where I made a sex tape with her boyfriend. you know to test our friendship
Beware of calls from Dad. I just had a longer than I would care to admit convo about the ididarod. Apparently it starts tomorrow.
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
He just fingered me to the Lion King soundtrack. And when he left he turned dramatically and said "I'll be back after work. Be prepared." Taint ALL the childhood memories.
I've lost all respect for marriage since I joined this bachelor party.
can i text him and be like "oh yeah, forgot i kinda made out with a girl this weekend. For future reference, does this count as cheating?" ?
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
This is a friendly reminder to try not to shit on the toilet seat. If our 4 year old can manage it, I think you can too.
Randomize
