but his dog just died...ill send him an edible arrangement or a 6 pack or something
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
my life is one jail cell away from being a bad country music song.
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
I can't decide if the sex was so good I couldn't move, or if it was me being loaded on all the morphine that they shot me up with at the ER.
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
I feel like I'm in an ocean of eels jacking me off
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
Please tell me last night did not happen and there is another reason why my phone smells like ranch sauce ahahah
I'm not sure what your ex was trying to say to me I was too busy chanting your name in his face
I'm going to stop at grocery on the way home. I'm CRAVING wine from a sippy cup. We have neither wine nor sippy cups.
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
MY BUTT IS BIG ENOUGH FOR AN ANACONDA AND HE DOESNT GET TO ENJOY IT TOUGH SHIT
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
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