I'm drinking on the job... HEAVILY
We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
im in class. still drunk. wearing one sock. eating a breakfast sandwich and trying to make sure this bottle of whiskey doesnt fall out of my purse in front of my professor
And I'm PMSing. So if I'm not crying, I'm masturbating.
Nothing like all your friends getting engaged to remind you how much fun sleeping around is.
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
I wanna send them a card but I don't think hallmark makes a "sorry your fiance and another girl blew me at the same time in a frat house but congrats!" card
I know now that the cab driver can get me a 10 dollar blow job. I'm practically a local.
Im covered in coffee vomit and urine and none of which are mine
But being sober is boring. Everything takes so long, I feel like I'm just waiting in line to die.
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
Randomize
