Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
Can you put "designated driver" on a resume?
WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
I just imagined your drunkass eating Taco Bell in my living room. This is the Godmother of my potential child.
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
Also, turning on the light this morning was a 3 step process. Way too hungover.
I'm going to call you, don't answer. Need to practice moaning to your answering machine again
Your shoe was in the washing machine. I have it in my pocket. My phone rang before and I answered your shoe. Meet me at the bar in 10.
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
I just had a sex dream about orange juice, so there's that.
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
I'm still hammered too. I started tweeting the time at one point I'm pretty sure.
His girlfriend left him for the pizza guy. I am not fucking kidding.
I just need a big sign that says no more penis please hanging over my head at all times
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