she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
Omg having my Grindr go off at the planned parenthood is just not okay
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
Some girl dressed in nothing but Wonder Woman underwear and a cape on her ass just started twerking all over us. Remind me why I'd never been to a midnight of Rocky horror before?
What i love about my dog is i can lay in bed and masturbate with him at the foot, and he just leaves me alone.
I walked in on him jerking it to videos of UFC fighters. The most awkward part: he didn't stop when I walked in.
I'm upset for all the future generations who can't drunkenly get cheesy bread
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
I just bought two 8 Balls of Coke from the chick nurse that stitched my leg together in the ER after my bike accident last summer.
She got a boob job, dumped her husband, became a stripper, got a DUI in her Porsche and is now dating her lawyer
I’m making her my life coach if med school doesn’t work out
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