that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
She's allergic to latex.
Lucky bastard.
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
The drugstore has summer clearance. I bought you a little mermaid bucket. Now your hangovers will feel more like childhood adventures.
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
My liver is crying. And I feel like I got fingered by Edward Scissorhands. While he was wearing brass knuckles
Fuck I keep finding new battle scars from our fight. Justin told me I stabbed you with a broom handle.. Do you remember ripping my pants off?
So I found where you barfed in my house. Just wanted to let you know that my cat barfed on the kitchen floor in a show of solidarity
He asked me if my princess crown was real and before I could say yes, he was already reaching to put it on. I'm pretending I'm asleep if he tries to have sex.
Reasonably certain my seventh grade teacher is encouraging me to drop acid on twitter
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
My mom just drunk texted me complaining about her genitals smelling like Taco Bell. I really am her son
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
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