it took everything i had not to yell out "your name means death in german!"
in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
Someone just asked if you were the one who rode around the bar on some girls back
Can you give me a hickey quick? Im going to a white trash themed party. Completely serious
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
Dude, you were so wasted she couldn't wait. She was grinding your face while you were passed out in the yard.
I added a U.S. Senator on snapchat....casual.
Never start off a conversation with "speaking of STD's..."
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
my hair smells like a mixture of fireworks and rotten eggs with a hint of shame. it's so strong it's keeping me awake.
Apparently I thanked the paramedics over and over again for saving the "happy new year" beads that I was wearing
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
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