My cardio has turned into running out of the cold from bar to bar.
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
I love having a boyfriend. I just ate pancakes with regular syrup and chocolate syrup, I havent shaved my legs in a week, and Im still going to get laid tonight.
fuck. you.
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
You stuck a chicken finger in that stripper's clevage and said "Keep this warm for me.
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
Just walked into the library with a case of Strawberitas in hand.. no one said a word.. I think they were just impressed I knew where the library was
I woke up in a lawn chair by the lake to some man revving his boat motor at me.
After getting kicked out of the bar, you proceeded to McDonald's, ordered 30 nuggets, slammed them all back in 5 minutes and then stole 3 traffic cones...how you only got charged with drunk in public is beyond me.
I called 911 when they kicked me out of the bar last night.
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
Randomize
