the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
i'm surrounded by gay midgets. not sure if i'm bragging or asking you to come rescue me. wait for follow up.
I wish life was like the Sims. Right when you're pregnant the music would play and I would just know instead of agonizing for the next two weeks.
we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
you were so high that you made a 14 page PowerPoint on why Santa would beat Peter pan in a fight.
and I must say, you were very persuasive
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
I feel like I'm full of double a batteries and cocaine.
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
I just ate 6 cheeseburgers with some homeless guy. Pretty epic.
I vaguely recall putting a toaster in the freezer.
who sends a dick pic at 3 am on a sunday honestly
seriously. and now it'll take him hours to clean up the glitter
You know you're too high when you find yourself crying at " hand in my pocket" by Alanis Morissette because it's "just TOO REAL"
Tbh I’m not a vibrator enthusiast
But I am godly
Randomize
