I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
I can't believe I had to sit there pretending to play Halo with a condom on for 20 Minutes because your brother barged in to tell a story.
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
Why did I wake up to grapes taped my ears ?
Sorry dude, we didn't want you to hear us. Seemed like a good idea at the time.
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
I am literally drinking 7 day old water and looking for snacks in my room so I won't have to go in the hall and see roommate, because we accidentally banged last night. Please bring over some chicken and plan b.
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
Randomize
