i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
I wish you could see the look on my boss's face right now.
wtf?
Before you passed out in the middle of the NHL 10 party you had to prove that you were a better fighter than Patrick Kane. Your not. Thanks for the black eye dipshit.
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
Okay good. And who the fuck put a condom on my foot. That shit hurt
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
We make out exclusively when we're drunk. That's like a relationship for me, right?
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
Don't worry, the house smells like waffles more than sex
Making drunken Mac n cheese at 3 am I understand why witches constantly stir their cauldrons. Much more homogenized temperature and slim chance of boiling over. Good job witches.
Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.
In the morning he said my plan to make 2 casseroles today was, "hot in a grandma sort of way," & I didn't think it was weird. THAT'S how hot he was.
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
Randomize
