Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
The hardest part of getting a new computer is deliberating whether to start the cycle of porn and viruses all over again.
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
I mass texted 4 of you for a booty call. Please reply all when responding so only one of you shows up. Last one is a rotten egg.
my heaven will be filled with hot naked men covered in chick-fil-a sauce and me wearing a bib
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
She just texted me that she's horny, then started quoted random music, then telling me everything she regrets. I don't think there's enough tequila in the world for me to deal with her...
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
Jesus better clutch that motherfucking wheel, then.
I'M NOT PUTTING MY TRUST IN JESUS! I'M PUTTING MY TRUST IN YOU!
Randomize
