No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
sometimes i wish i was a boob, they get to chill in soft and cuddly little cup things.
Of course... Double fistin nati light cuz the powers out and it cuts down the times i gotta open the fridge... Genius
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
He told me my outfit made me look like a twelve year old then proceeded with "but you don't look like a whore"
Her one night stand followed us to mass. This is too funny for real life.
He stopped his car in the middle of ongoing traffic to ask me to marry him. Then he got pulled over. Yeah I'd say the slutty Dallas Cowboys costume was a success.
Your hotness may or may not have landed him in jail.
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
What did we do last night and why in the fuck were there carrots in my pocket?
Are you alive? Cause this is my official "im actually alive" text.
When he said he lived in a closet I thought he meant his room was really small or something... But he actually has a queen size mattress on the floor of his roomates walk-in closet.
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
He may have been a dick but he DID give me his Netflix log in. Maybe some good did come of it.
Randomize
