I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
Drunk at a girls little league game. Hello summer.
That girl gave me her number because you were arrested. I am so proud of you dude.
You remember the guy that busted in waving a tazer at everyone yelling "get the fuck outta my crib"?
yeah you don't forget that shit easily
We ended up crawling out from our hiding spot and playing pool with him once he calmed down. His name is Marcus. I got his email.
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
New low: falling asleep with my face in the toilet only to be awoken when my hand slid down and touched the water. It's moments like these I wish I could forget.
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
I don't want a baby! I JUST WANT AN ORGASM THAT ISN'T SELF INFLICTED.
I want you to get off the plane and get directly into my pants
you know what? fuck you, fuck your nana, and ESPECIALLY FUCK THE BLACKHAWKS.
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
I love you.
Bad choice
Randomize
