i just google imaged poop.
I was so scared, I actually heard my grandmother's voice in my head saying if I get pregnant, then my vagina will fall off. And then I'm going to die.
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
I woke up on the ground next to a bed of naked men. I'm either a drunken genius or the enemy....
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
I just sold my hat for three car bombs. I call that a win.
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
Too bad Amazon Prime wouldn't get the wine bra flask to you in time. Concealed alcohol and huge tits? Win-win.
Going on a first date tonight...pros: my boobs look amazing. Cons: my abortion isn't until next week.
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
He walked upstairs in nothing but his boxers and drunkenly asked my brother for a condom....so much for a good first impression.
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
Well, you started screaming "I dont know you GO AWAY" to your mom when she was holding your hair as you threw up in her garden.
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
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