you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
Do you think my bosses would frown upon Jameson with breakfast on this holiest of days?
Weekdays seemed more exciting when I had a drinking problem. Like I had something to look forward to at night.
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
Did someone do a keg stand in my bathtub?
No, the weekend was great. It was the waking up in the pond in the raft without an oar that sucked. That fucking water is cold at 7am.
I offered to buy ihop waffles for all the homeless people outside the metro. It was time to go to bed.
Note to self: trying to grow pubes back = worst decision of 2014 thus far
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
God is tempting me with everything tonight. Brownies and dick, mostly.
I feel like hooking up with you on my floor, sneaking out my window and jumping a fence is an effort that deserves a happy birthday.
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
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