i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
woke up this morning with "hah" written on my penis.i was like wtf?? morning wood kicked in and found out what it really said, haNNah.then i remembered.
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
I sent him this really overly apologetic text asking him out. It was just sad. Not even 27 shots of whiskey can grow me a self-esteem.
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
I was dreaming of a parallel reality and in the dream I just looked up at my present self and was like "you're high, man"
Just woke up. Will be over soon. DON'T LEAVE THE CHAMPAGNE UNSUPERVISED.
Did you ever hear the story about the time I did blow in a bar bathroom with the #1 ranked golfer in the world?
Your mom has reinvented the use of a ping pong ball.
Well I thought I saw everything and then I saw Christmas themed poop bags at Petco.
before i went to bed i wrote myself a note that says 'i feel all swirly'
Randomize
