why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt?
At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
i just realized i've hooked up with every boy in this taco bell
That's the classiest thing you've ever said.
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
Either call me back or tell me you're in jail. For fucks sake. If this is a cop, just help out. national league.
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
Look, opening a Guinness with a steak knife and nearly cutting your finger off to make another carbomb is always a good idea.
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
not even sure this counts as hungover but like my body can't exist in reality today
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