I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
There is a guy standing at my bar right now wearing an affliction SUIT. I can't wait on him.
Vibrator and massage oils got stopped at security. Super.
The best thing he's ever done for me was comment on my profile picture saying "hello boner"
No dude trust me, just go a strip club at their busiest hours and pick the ugliest chick. Guaranteed she blows you for under 20$, the record stands at $7.67 and a pen from Bank of America,
He's coming over, and I hope he doesn't get hungry. I'm sure its not proper protocol to bring one booty call to another booty call's house for the munchies.
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
You had one beer and one beer can full of vodka and you took a huge gulp of one of them and called it Emily Roulette
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
some how during sex we caught an ENTIRE pillow on fire. A WHOLE PILLOW.
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
Randomize
