Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
He's a waiter, looks 15, and told me he loved me after only talking to me for 30 minutes. I told him I wanted a margarita. We got 3 free pitchers. I may have to make this our regular Wednesday night hangout.
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
My high school reunion is Thursday so I need to find an outfit that says "Haha, you got fat and I got tits. Suck it, bitches."
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
I drove them away with my sparkling personality and LOTR references.
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
He literally shouted this Viking war cry when he cam. Then as we laid there he sang me the most beautiful rendition of " When Irish Eyes are Smiling". I've never been more confused.
I lysoled the money\n(631): wrong text lmao
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