Another f*ing night of vodka youporn and xanax. I need to get a goddamn life
3 great things that go great together... But not on a Friday night. Perfect on say... a Tuesday.
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
My room should be renamed "Land of the Misfit Condoms."
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
oh great, iTunes now thinks im gay.
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
I need to find a more grown up way of dealin with a hangover at the office than pringles and mountain dew at 8:30 am...
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
He still texted me and invited me over a day later so I guess I'm the lovable kind of psycho
All i remember from last night was that i was sitting on the toilet for a good hour eating a philly cheesesteak hotpocket... then i woke up... in my bed.
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
I really love you. Like, more than tequila...& we both know that's my favorite.
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