yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
true best friends attempt to put quarters in each others butts. Thanks for the best birthday ever!
So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
The birthday girl is bringing her own barf bucket, it is going to be a good weekend.
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
We found you facedown on his couch in a pile of cheerios, with only one shoe on. Dude you said you were staying in last night.
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
Is it weird that I only look up my ex on Twitter when I take a shit? May have conditioned myself to associate him with shit
It's almost sad. It's like the Harambe of vagina stories really.
It occurred to me today, whilst I was on the phone to boyfriend number 1, whilst in the car with boyfriend number 2 who was dropping me at the shops to meet boyfriend number 3 to help me buy a present for boyfriend number 4 that I should be having much more sex than I am.
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
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