let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
I'm way too drunk on a Sunday to handle this level of Jesus.
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
A beer fell out of the case, hit the ground and started spraying. He's a pro. He grabbed it and shotgunned it while still holding the case.
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
It's been over a year since we've been get-so-drunk-you-throw-beer-cans-at-fat-girls-drunk together. That needs to change.
God loves me. So high, craving Jimmy Johns chips, looked down, unopened bag in front of me. Still doesn't feel real
When you are old and getting humped by saggy balls every other weekend you are gonna wish you had more sex with freshly legal boys. Your vagina will thank you one day. Don't let her down.
I'm high. Everything has a 45° angle. That is as far as my eyes open
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
Also—I just realized that your wedding gift is still on my dining room table. So...as awful as I am for not yet sending it (and I still need your address), at least I didn’t bring my screaming children to potentially the most important day of your life?
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
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