So i told him he was the 3rd i have ever slept with and then i found out he had actually slept with 5 other girls besides me. And his reply was well your number one on this hand.
About six hours after the bottle of smirnoff, I was googling "losing your stomach lining" and calling my mom for help. She has experience.
I like to keep a steady black out going for the holidays. I feel it makes me less cynical
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
Seriously, don't even. "Hi, have I seen you half naked covered in bright red body paint on the internet?" is NOT acceptable water-cooler chit-chat.
Aw.
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
I'm now having weird sexual fantasies about that riverdancing figure skater. So thanks for that.
Stuck in the Minneapolis airport for 3 hours with an expense budget and a wine bar. This could get out of hand quickly.
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
I did this clutch move yesterday at the bar where I grabbed a plastic cup for water and discreetly threw up in it while walking around and then tossed it. It was my best boot and rally ever
Also, let me tell you how embarrassing it is to match with someone who seemingly has their shit together at 4:45AM on a Thursday.
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
Randomize
