If you were a Panda and I were a Koala and we had a baby, it'd be a falafel. Just think about that.
I'm watching tv and he's trying to stick a vibrator in my ass
when i told him i was pregnant with his baby he texted me 'congradulations'
i pity the fetus.
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
I'm at the perfect height to walk up to the corner of my mom's stove and rest my balls on it. Just thought you'd like to know they're warm.
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
In this town being related to a brewing family or the owner of a sports team is like being royalty. It's like hooking up with the queen's nephew or something.
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
I apparently ooze single. The second I left his house after break up sex five of my old booty calls text me
We can use the Mac n cheese as the potatoes in our breakfast burritos. Problem solved.
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
Randomize
