Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
Overheard: "his girlfriend fucks him with the lights off. It's not serious."
lmfao. well really. it's not love if you cringe at the site of his anus.
they could make at least 3 episode of "i shouldn't be alive" out of my weekend
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
I feel like that needs to be the last time i end a text with "fuck them i love tequila".
The guy you fucked with the lazy eye is here, im avoiding contact by texting you. But i just looked up and he recognizes me, theres no way he doesnt. I'd remember the girl who called me quasimodo all night too. Sober me feels so bad.
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
He ran over from the bar to give me more singles because the stripper was doing gymnastics on me. He is a really great friend, just probably not the best boyfriend.
Hey, I'm off work. Wanna take a metric fuckton of adderall, possibly get daydrunk, and get my hair cut?
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
I was like sure, i'll have a drink or two to end the night early. Next thing i know theres a ton of dudes in my house and like 3 gallons of wine. I cant do anything in moderation.
I gotta stop fucking the bouncers. We are running out of bars to go to.
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
Randomize
