I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
she asked me if i wanted her to take her wedding ring off while she was giving me a handjob.
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
I was just tagged in a picture with a bunch of people i don't know in a house i don't recognize wearing a purple cowboy hat and a boa...i hate tequila
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
His pick up line was "your one sexy pumpkin, I'd love to carve." Why would you let me go home with him?
I'm gonna make some noodles and go to bed. Hopefully I don't fall into the stove or something.
His water bottle is sitting on my coffee table like a monolith dedicated to the things he is not doing to my vagina.
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
This is my life. Enjoy the view
You asked for his ID and then said "I am like a bouncer but for my vagina."
Randomize
