He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
Spraying perfume on pants makes them clean right?
"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
One of my bosses just told me she's having communication problems because mercury is in retrograde this month. I think she's serious.
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
Party Liz is going to have to have her wings clipped until someone gets me some baby reins to wear
Winner winner, chicken dinner. I am the sole survivor of the orgy without strep. Or maybe I was the carrier?
Seriously, I want to give you a plaque thanking you for your dedicated service to my vagina.
I'm tripping balls on ambien right now and I still feel that's a bad idea.
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
Sometimes I refuse to go through a door until someone holds it open for me because I'm a fucking lady.
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
Afternoon delight is playing while I take a shit at mcdonalds
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