A girl just told me I should smile because I was surrounded by hot girls. I told her that clearly beauty was in the eye of the beholder. And she slapped me!
you know i'm gay cause i'd have sex with lady gaga. what straight man would say that?
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
tip of the day : never have sex with a full bladder. it WILL lead to complications and a very unhappy partner.
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
I don't know what's more sad. The fact that I'm genuinely impressed about being sober for a whole 3 days or the fact that I want to get wasted in celebration.
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
Fell asleep naked on the recliner spooning with my organic chemistry book. The fact that I made it through four years of college is proof that the education system is fucked.
Any idea why the fuck i would replace all the music on my ipod with the fucking Goosebumps theme song?!?
Apparently drunk you is really nostalgic?
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
I let my daughters ex boyfriend take me home from the bar. Hey, at least he's old enough to drink
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
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