I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
I'm drinking a margarita out of my 'best bj' trophy and it tastes like victory.
He's got serious oatmeal ass...take a moment and admire how google voice to text was able to detect oatmeal ass....twice
what is it with giant penises always finding me
I think I just ate eggs off of a plate covered in cocaine.
I just learned my tits were fire resistant. I should join the freakin circus
It's a goat... but where the fuck did it come from?
the bruises from climbing out of the window last night make sitting at my desk impossible. legit excuse to not study right?
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
dude, totally just walked home...using pizza as gloves
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