I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
She posts like 3 statuses a day pleading for pity. Responding positively would be like giving a dog a treat for shitting on the floor.
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
So i think i'm going to frame my summons tickets and give them to dad as a christmas present...
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
Never thought going to McDonald's alone at 3 AM would end with a blowjob outside some random girl's apartment...
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
I woke up in the bathtub with money shoved down my pants. I must've done something right.
Lobby closes at 2 AM on Thursday, but everyone walking still wants food... I could run a "Taco Bell Taxi" when I clock off at 2 and charge a dollar to give drunks a ride through drive thru.
Someones thought of a way to afford tuition.
Randomize
