Driving with balloons in your car is more annoying than that bubble fart that doesn't leave your ass after your previous fart.
Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
do you know anything about the $5 bill with my name stapled to it in my purse??
we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
i was taking a dump when this random girl ran in, puked all over my lap, then passed out on the floor
did you bang her?
seriously?
Oh, and that ugly chick transformed into a veritable goddess when she came back at 3AM with a handle of vodka and 100 chicken wings
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
Never let your siblings swipe right.
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
Sorry I missed your call earlier. I was getting high with my high school band teacher.
Randomize
