yeah so this exboyfriend of yours reckons you're still together and he punched me in the face cos i slept with you last week. you might wanna have a word with him or at a minimum change your facebook status.
You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
So I have some interesting news. The pizza guy called the cops on me...
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
I had to brake up with him.
In my experience drinking helps.
You dont want to know why?
Not really. I want to drink.
Wise words from the guy who drunkenly chipped his teeth on the sidewalk
Crosswalk actually
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
Then this bride walked into the bar, she thought it would be a good idea to hug her & then she started playing parachute with her train.
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
Sometimes I just want to serenade his penis with cheesy 80s songs.
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
I'm spending tomorrow doing taxes and making jello shots. Is this adulthood?
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
Randomize
