If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
Currently bar hopping with 30 Navy SEALS. I know i'm safe but damn its hard to pick up chicks when you feel like a big pussy.
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
drunk lawn darts. Let's test the homeowners policy
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
She just told me she blew the waiter in the bathroom. Should I still leave a tip?
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
You have to summon your inner elephant
Whiskey chased with ice cubes? Here's a big FUCK THAT to that
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
Rolled over in bed this morning and found Nutella and wet naps. Why can't it ever be a fire fighter, or Jude Law.
I keep worrying the police are going to come looking for us.
For which one? Starting a fire on my porch or having sex on my porch?
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
Randomize
