Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
Best walk of shame ever - Brown Hennesy shirt, bright blue overly large basketball shorts, stilettos from night before - ended up buying a ton of 40's and a 30 pack of coors.
Where are you?
A place I should not be.
OMG - This guy with a mullet just told me - it wasn't a mullet - but his hair dresser layered it wrong. It's so walmart in here. I hate you.
Last night he tried to put me in their garbage can and then sprayed me with a fire extinguisher in their kitchen...that house is always interesting
Tell him next time im gonna be "disgrace to the family" drunk
i wasn't going to tell her about the threesome but i had to explain the tree and the green paint everywhere
You act as if I'm the first person to pee in the Taco Bell drive thru at 2 AM, I'm sure a lot worse things have happen in that drive thru than my urine.
Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
just found a someones bra in what seems to be a mix of pickle juice and vodka in my fridge. Who was over here lately?
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
I like how I just yelled in the window at Mcdonalds drive thru, got his number and then fucked. it was like I ordered a happy meal that only can be had after midnight.
I know you like got hit by a car but do you want to come to my birthday pardi
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
I am beginning to doubt your commitment to my making poor choices tonight
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
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