yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
so i saw this homeless guy this morning yelling at a pay phone like chewbacca.
That's what you get for being in filth-adelphia.
porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
You ended at least 6 stories with "and that's why I don't snort coke anymore"
Some creeps at the festival started talking to me, so I told them I was going change my tampon. Worked like a charm.
He bought me a flower. He's totally getting head every day for a week.
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
We started telling people we were married, and then we hooked up on a park bench
She can drink whiskey without a chaser and has a fridge full of whipped cream. Girlfriend potential
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
Having a heartfelt conversation with your boyfriends mom while sexting her son. If that's not multitasking, I don't know what is.
For the record you're a very classy lady and your love for and mastery of strap-ons is amazing. I would gladly marry you and father your offspring
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
Randomize
