did you hook up austin?
No! he threw up in my bathroom, made me wake up and order him jimmy johns, beat my roommate with a macaroni and cheese box, and then passed out with her in her bed
I don't believe in a God but I'm almost positive I just shit out the devil.
If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
according to the woman who took my blood today, i have "party veins"
ps if your frozen peas taste like crotch it's because some dude kicked me in the nuts while trying to do a keg stand and I needed an ice pack
WHAT IF you could get pizza delivered to you IN YOUR CAR while driving somewhere. Like moving roadside service.
You're High aren't you?
Sooooo high
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
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