I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
history professor just told us he has magic fingers. i'm going for it.
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
You're just telling me nice things because you came in my eye.
She's in the middle of blacking out but is singing Mariah carey songs. Hitting every note.
Got high and weighed everything in the house. My head is 16.2 pounds. Is that ok?
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
Printed off fake 'Producer' Sundance badges for us. Pretty sure they double as free passes for getting laid by 'actresses'. Testing this theory tonight.
Also I legit had a girl at my bar crying tonight saying to her friend "why did he have to take his top off ?"
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
Do they mail horrible human being awards or do I have to pick it up or what's the protocol on that shit
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
My mom found me this morning passed out, face down on my dinning room floor
That must have been one awkward situation haha
Well I woke up in my bed.... I don't remember her finding me
Vulcans are sexy now IT HAS BEEN WAY TOO LONG SINCE I'VE GOTTEN LAID
Randomize
