I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
Yeah sketchy neighborhood.. Some woman ran by screaming, "i didn't steal anything" as some cops rolled up and arrested her.
I have an asthmatic alcoholic for a roommate. That can't be safe.
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
Not sure why I sent you a picture of a black bear last night but it seemed like a good idea at the time.
Seriously? What part of meeting at Oktoberfest while I'm wearing a dirndl, double fisting, and making out with random guys screams "i'm girlfriend material"?!
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
Until then we have the self affirmation from retweets and nights alone with pizza..
You need a Jiminy Cricket, but for sexual decisions.
There is no way to say this. Dude, I peed your bed. No questions, no answers. My flight leaves in 30 minutes. Use my detergent. Also, THE VODKA IN THE FRIDGE IS YOURS.
I'm not a whore anymore. I gave up 90% of my women for you. I'm a 4-5 woman kind of guy now.
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
Randomize
