I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
Whenever he makes me dinner its always mini things.. cheeseburgers, corndogs.. is he preparing me for something?
i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
when a 14 year old is judging you, you know you've had too much to drink
please dont tell anyone i was drunk
you were publicly making out with a very old very spandex covered woman...they know
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
I wasn't so much your wingman at that point as I was the interpreter of you point at shit and mumbling to the cab driver.
Just woke up bloody and clutching a rear view mirror I'm pretty sure is from my car. For those of you keeping score at home this is why I stopped drinking four loko.
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
You slammed your face into the toilet and declared you were moving your bed into the bathroom in the morning. Also, you insisted on crawling everywhere because feet are "overrated."
You said you were uncomfortable with your body and then you started making whale noises
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
thought i saw a dude in a kilt yesterday, but then i realized he was doing a walk of shame. happy st. paddy's day.
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
Randomize
