he pushed my hair back because he said it made me look like kelly kapowski and he told me to call him zach
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
My goal of the day is to not shit myself. That's it. Setting the bar real low
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
Is it bad that all my wine bottles have teeth marks in the cork?
He asked me not to hook up with anyone else because it would hurt his feelings.. while his arm was around his pregnant girlfriend.
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
Like don't initiate a threesome when we're all watching SPONGEBOB. That's like sacrilege.
The way I see it, there's 2 types of friends. Those you should do drugs with, and those you really,really shouldn't.
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
Apparently I gave a guy a hand job on the dance floor. ON THE DANCE FLOOR.
Randomize
