Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
beeferoni + vodka = puke stuck in braces.
I just won 10 dollars from out chugging the bar tender and I found out that the baby aint mine in the last hour. I don't even care if l get laid tonight any more.
She said she couldn't find my penis because my arm was in the way. That was my penis
Every man deserves at least one moment like that
I broke his nose at the bar and he still went home with me.
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
Like fighting the continuous urge to sing Neil diamond "coming to America" kinda fucked up right now
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
You know it was a good night when visa fraud prevention services are calling
Don’t fucking talk to that dude from monday!! Ethical consumption dude, don’t fuck shitty guys
just spent the last 20 minutes cleaning out the soap dispenser. fuck. me. adderall.
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