I think I might be in your shoes. Except they are actually my shoes. Either way these shoes are wasted.
There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
He started to lose his balance halfway through his "commencement speech" at the top of the staircase. The rest is bloody, profanity-laiden history.
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
Would it be sharing too much to tell you that my nipples hurt so much that I couldn't comfortably go down the stairs?
He asked if he could pull one of my teeth "to remember me by"
Rule number one to being a good adult: don't use your vagina as an icebreaker. Just some wisdom I thought I'd pass down from experience.
I'm gonna go to bars and pick up women hopped up on democracy.
I asked him if we could hang out sometime when we weren't hammered. He said he'd email me his number... that's when I knew I was going to die alone
I just walked past a guy banging a chick in the back of his car.
Glass of stolen champagne in a to go cup = tastiest hangover cure ever
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
i just saw a man in the grocery, sitting on the floor, eating out of a galon sized tub of macaroni salad. We need to get on his level.
Randomize
