Answer the phone when I call you in a second. Just got pulled over for getting road head, going to secretly put you on speaker phone, this should be good
I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
i had to take my roommates dildo out of her suitcase so I could use it
the suitcase or the dildo?
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
That was an excessively violent trivia night
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
I don't have to hold her hair back as she blows me but I do have to hold the ball on the Santa hat
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes...
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
I mean you can one up her. Instead of ruining friendships you can ruin marriages.
It's technically 2016 but since I haven't gone to bed I'm still counting it as 2015, so I'm gonna drink all the alcohol in my house so tomorrow I can become the better version of myself that I'll be for 5 minutes.
What's the rule for getting in fights with homeless men in suits?
Here's a rule: don't
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
Randomize
